Hello Miracle..

Today I sat on the floor and cried. Hysterically. I wasn’t feeling well the past few hours. I cried because I swore my favorite cheese smelled like rotten eggs. My husband smelled the bag and said it smelled like cheese. Needless to say I lost it. Then he came behind my and rubbed my back, condemning the hormones. I sat on the floor bawling as I stuff my face with cheese cubes and mandarin oranges. 

New Years Eve I took a test on a whim and had a faint second line. 5 years of ttc and almost to the day of my very first miscarriage (12/27/2011). No way I thought. Told hubby and he didn’t believe it either. Took more tests in the coming days, all positives all growing darker with each passing day. Of course we became more excited, started shouting there’s two lines as it slowly set into our minds. The 5th I went in for a blood draw, it was at 532, definetly pregnant. What I am upset about is the doctor never wanted to check for doubling. Which caused myself much stress over the past week.

Long story short, I’m being labeled as high risk already. High BP, currently anemic, my kidney disease, and a currently UTI. I have several appointments of the upcoming months to be closely monitored. My stress is through the roof and we are trying to come up with a date for me to quit. This past week I started having chest pains at work to. This is in efforts to reduce my stress levels/heart rate and BP. Others are suggesting I quit now. The doctor hasn’t said to press forward but I feel as though it’s time.

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